Chapter Three, Enter the Dragon

Yes, charmander are dragons. Wingless, short dragons, but dragons all the same.

What follows is a sentence-by sentence commentary on the third chapter of the Apocalypse.

The first sentence was carefully calculated to fulfill a number of tasks. It's short, which imitates the simplistic thought of a mind reeling from shock and disappointment. It also-

Do you have the chapter open? It should be. Go to it now. This will make much more sense with context.

It also serves to give me a platform on which to build the rest of the chapter. Without a platform, the story would rest on the ground, and it's very particular about what it will and will not touch. Dirt is of the latter category, platforms of the former. Perhaps the most important function of the sentence is to review the previous chapter. Quickly. Without the reader realizing it.

It does fit, doesn't it? The translators really did a spectacular job. Mostly.

I have one: superfluseless. Or monowag. Or poliwoe.

Adverb placement is entirely up to the author, and I choose, on occasion, to use them after verbs. It sounds better.

Red deserves applause. It's extraordinarily difficult to prod something so small. Squishing is often the result, and if that happened I'd be out of a job.

Yes, massive eyes are cute, but think about it from Red's perspective. Not only is his pokémon small, but what area it does have is wasted by eyes. What good are those?

I refuse to check, but I think the trend of monosyllabic Nyoromo responses starts here has continued without a full "Poliwag" since. Also, ew. The placement of that sentence is ugly. I should have started a new paragraph.

Squirming sounds like it should be onomatopoeia. It isn't.

Again, Red performs an amazing feat. He should get an award for Extraordinary Dexterity of the Foot or perhaps for Extreme Perseverance in the Face of Squishing Temptation.

Poliwag do badly on land, regardless of what the anime may try to make you believe.

This also serves to nearly blind the creature. It's eyes would face mostly downwards.

The flag would, of course, be for an insect nation, or for other creatures equally as small. Not a Bug nation though, as those things grow far too quickly.

Get it? It slithers towards the water, and Nyoromo means "Slither-child" in Japanese! Am I the only one who thinks it's funny?

If the Apocalypse had a soundtrack, this is where the rival music would play. But you heard it in your head anyway, no?

It took me a while to figure out if Green's eyes had a color in the canon.

No, this is not a magical life-saving pendant given to him by his grandfather that will save him from a [spoilers redacted]

Haughtiness adds height. I am twelve feet tall.

Slowpoke tails are not exclusive to Johto. They are found wherever slowpoke roam.

WHOAARETHEYRIVALSWHATISGOINGONTHEYSHOULDBEFRIENDS!

Yes, Green. Not Blue. Green is an accurate translation.

I enjoy distorting handsome features. It robs the world of beauty.

What, no salutation?

An arbok? Don't be silly. Everyone knows arbok can only be found on Route 23 and cerulean cave.

And how does that make you feel?

Oh.

That, dear readers, is how small Nyoromo is. He took twelve sentences to be noticed.

"Um... no." lied Red. "I'm just holding it for a friend."

Diglett is, canonically, the smallest pokémon in the Kanto region.

Neither did Red.

I realize that it goes against convention for a pokémon to be named so long after it has been 'caught,' but I wanted Red to be so self-pitying that it wouldn't occur to him until Green asked him.

Again, I make reference to the Japanese name. Red is, apparently, bilingual.

Stalling looks ugly, but it had to be done.

He'll probably do this a lot.

Hitokage means salamander in Japanese. A literal translation would be fire lizard.

Oh, that's the other person. Pokémon, I mean.

Is there anyone who didn't know what the pokémon was at this point? There's really only one bipedal lizard.

I thought it would be hilarious to call a fire-type burnt orange. I wasn't mistaken.

Charmander start by knowing scratch. Thus they have claws. Thus, my charmander have really sharp claws.

The ground dulls the claws of those that walk upon it. However, feet tend to be larger, so their claws are as well. His claws are red because Green wouldn't bother letting a stray pidgey live if he could kill it instead.

Here is where the unintelligence of pokémon begins to be made known.

Yes, I used multiple references to find how long its tail would be. I'm thorough.

Deep red. Hm. It's been so long, I can't recall if I intentionally made the flame cold.

Interest? More like envy. Which is a deadly sin.

No. No he doesn't. He wants him. Since he can't have him, he begrudges Green for it.

Unless I'm mistaken, he uses this name for Oak in the games.

Oak is allowed to play favorites. No one would dare argue with him. Except for- SPOILER REDACTED.

This overconfidence would be your downfall if it wasn't deserved, Green!

Do attacks have names in the world of the Apocalypse? I don't know. However, scratch could be an order regardless of the answer to that question.

This was included for the extraordinarily dense. The bipedal lizard with vicious claws and a flaming tail is a charmander. How unexpected.

Isn't it convenient how he didn't quite make it to the water?

Poor Nyo. Attacked without warning when helpless.

Oh, Hydrogen Bonds. You've foiled us again!

Stunned? Fainted? Dead? Bleeding.

The narrowing of the universe that accompanies horrible shock. I enjoyed writing this.

Green had to say that sometime.

Apparently insects exist here too. Not just bugs.

Spearow are the closest thing to ravens Kanto has.

This took far longer and was far less entertaining to write than I had hoped. I quite look forward to reading it in a few weeks.

End of the First

So ends the Red/Green arc of The Golden Apocalypse. You might think it abrupt. If you do, you're horrible and irrevocably wrong. It is the perfect time to end it, because now the stage has been set for the Yellow arc. The Yellow arc will begin the Sunday after next, so I can assemble my thoughts. It was a pleasure sharing the Apocalypse with you, and I think you'll agree this was really a flawlessly executed finale.

Have a happy Easter, everyone.

The Day Dawned Golden

After twenty-seven days without a whisper of story, the Apocalypse rises again to ensnare us all in its warm, grasping tentacles. As it draws you once more into its gaping maw, take a moment to reflect on the meaninglessness of your life without my writing. Then rejoice as you are consumed. Rejoice, for never again shall you know a day without the Apocalypse. Until I get writer's block again that is. Which will probably not happen until midsummer. Maybe sooner. Possibly later. Regardless, don't expect updates at the frequency I once attempted. The rush of daily posting did nothing but advance the story. That is to say, things happened, but nothing really was told.

Apparently, a lot of pieces fell into place during my briefish hiatus. Regrettably, more fell out of place than into. My entire ending needs to be reworked, though that won't be a problem for months. I had believed I had the Yellow story arc into place, but when I look back on it, the manga's story seems to have overwritten it. While I liked the manga's version, I doubt anyone would care to read a novelization thereof.

The lack of response by this point is really very discouraging.

A Mathematical Error

Yes, the post on RPS is not a mistake. GLaDOS lives to Lament anew. When Portal 2 was announced, I immediately began to consider the next Lament. I began to build a story, and a glimpse is provided now. I regret to tell you that the next Lament has nearly a year before birth, but when it arrives, all will be as it should be. I see the Lament as the cornerstone of my work on my blog. The Apocalypse is grand, but it isn't the Lament.


Speaking of which, I really should see about forging that Apocalypse. Maybe it's ready to be born.

Missing: Story Shards

Actually, if I pull this off you'll be missing more than that. Due to my actions (which will be explained momentarily), you're going to miss the next five Shards and the next five Tales. You might miss some Thoughts too. I dunno, I think I have someone for that.

ANYWAY... you know about Moképon, right? No? Then you are a horrible, horrible person. Read it. Now. Seriously, I linked it. Just click the title above and read it. All. In fact, I declare it the official Reoganworks comic. Yeah. Read it or you're not part of Reoganworks. You just pretend to be.




Have you read it? Great! Now read the comments and the responses to them.


Yes, I'm serious.



Well, by the time you read this, it's probably days after you started reading the post (Hours if you have nothing better to do than obey me. If that's the case, I really would love to meet you. And then have you bake me cakes and make outdated references to them being lies.). Nonetheless, I will now answer that question you've been wanting to ask.

(don't say forty-two, don't say forty-two, don't say forty-two)

The answer is March Madness. Yes, thanks to H0lyhandgrenade, I learned about the comic-a-day thing. I thought if they could do it, I could too. Except that I can't draw too well (Though not too badly either. Here, have a pokémon thing)


















I realized I can still participate in story form. I intend to post an Apocalypse every day this month. Everything else by me we'll be postponed until April. Though I may need a break afterward. We'll see.

I would apologize, but it seems to me that the Apocalypse is the most beloved of my works, so instead I will let you applaud.

Question! (AUTHOR'S NOTE: THAT IS TO BE PRONOUNCED 'QVESTION.')
How do you like the Shards thus far, and how do you feel about the new Tale, both for its own merit and compared to the first.

I should draw that thing again. I know what not to do now...

Chapter Two, Who's That Pokémon?

I love cheesy titles, don't you? The best part of BNL seems to be the opportunity to create titles for the Apocalypse without fear of diluting the atmosphere (as this title certainly would have).

I mentioned that writing action scares me because I don't want to slow the pace of the story, but on that same token I fear writing waits as I need to make the reader feel the pause. An example of a failure to write a wait well follows:

Red waited for an eternity, then Pikachu came out of the cage and zapped him.

As you should be able to see, the above sentence mentions a wait, but the wait doesn't feel like a wait. A good wait should have sentences detailing it. Possibly parallelism as well, but multiple sentences at the least. I believe I created the proper feel using both. The first action that wasn't an act of waiting occurred in the ninth sentence. I used the phrase nothing happened twice, to give a feel of redundancy and lethargy. Yes, lethargy is communicated. Lethargic people are woefully repetitive.

Here was the first sign of a reign of terror that lasted for nearly a month. Firefox's spellchecker refused to accept the word leapt and it convinced me that proper English speakers would only dare use leaped instead. I prefer leapt in this case as it has a more powerful reactionary feel. If you think leaped works better you are not only wrong, but possibly suffering from a contrecoup. Please see a doctor immediately.

The sentence about a tentacle-beast seems a bit of a run-on. No, it can't be. Commas fix everything, right,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,?

I'm never typing that again. I feel dirty after such punctuation abuse.

I thought the abrupt change from tentacled horror from Rl'yeh to wet sponge created a delightful contrast, forcing the reader to change their newly formed notions completely.

Hopped was the wrong word for the way Nyoromo moved. It should be tumbled. Poliwag don't do well on land.

Note how I said some caterpie. The larvae grow. Quickly. Blood is very nutritious. Whatever it lacks, flesh makes up for. Yay science!

A poliwag's spiral is its intestinal tract. It's official. Nyoromo isn't starving. Much.

I quake at the thought of using hyphens in writing. I always think I'm doing it wrong.

Glorious Guardian is alliterative and thus good writing.

The ending makes me smile. Every time.



Does any of this sound narcissistic? I hope not. I'm only being honest.

Reflections of Recent Writing

I have just finished writing the third chapter of the second Tale. I invite you to see my thought process.

Wait, how do I title these? I should check.

...

Oh, story number comma chapter. Got it.

Can a screen so faint it's all but imperceptible flash? No, wrong implications.

...

Flicker! It implies darkening as opposed to brightening.

...

I hope.

No, idiot, s THEN apostrophe. There are multiple shadows.

Does he type for the screen? No, he can point. I can imply age through finger description. Wait... I can do that? I love writing.

Wait, rather than enlarge the screen, imply advanced technology by having it approach the man. In midair.

Old people in shadows always have hooked noses. It's a fact.

How many words does it display? Three is a good number.

...

What words are they?

...

...

Oh! I'll figure out what it says, then write how many words the screen displays.

...

Well this deals with last chapter, so the Speaker's fondness for regulations carries over.

...

Is Speaker capitalized?

...

I should check.

No? That's stupid. I should've capitalized it.

...

I could fix it without a word. No one needs to kn-

No. I am infallible. Changing the word would admit fallibility. Which I lack.

I like the way I described the smile.

...

Wait... tightening means stress. I need to lift the corners of his lips too.

...

Is that clearly a smile? No, remember that idiots might read this. Cater to all fools.

...

That should be Reoganworks' motto. 'Cater to all Foo-

Stay on track! You're almost done.

Ooh, yes. Mention how he stretches out his fingers. Details make the story.

...

I really wish I capitalized speaker. It would so much better. Oh well.