Chapter Six, Into Shadow

 My other title? Twilight. But that evokes vampires, and we have none in the Forest. Though I'm sure plenty of things would be willing to suck you dry.

What follows is a sentence by sentence commentary on the sixth chapter of the Apocalypse. Is it too much to assume that you've opened it in another tab already?

This single sentence creates the setting for the chapter. From this point on, every sound is amplified by nervousness.

Note how words work together here to set the mood. The forest has only (indicating insufficiency) the hellish (evil) half-light (weakened goodness) of dusk (where light goes to die).

He feels helpless out there. Which, y'know, he is.

"Oh, heh, I'm not afraid at all, and in a completely unrelated note, I think I should keep my pokémon close. "

He seemed small when he wasn't the only thing between you and insectoid death. Did you expect him to grow?

Red does not have a particularly large head.

He's really going for the Most Caring Trainer Called award, isn't he?

Somehow I'm sure that the word waddle made Nyoromo all the more adorable in the minds of my readers.

Try inhalation for once, m'boy. It'll do you some good.

Because if it's on your shoulder, you aren't carrying it.

Isn't he so adorable and such? Also? Nyoromo's pronouns don't always work. His ascension, it tipped back.

Putting a tadpole on your head qualifies as hope in this world. They have fallen so far.

Squelch

Which increases electrical conductivity by george you've made a thinking cap!

He already thought this about Nyroromo.

You know you're in trouble when your pokémon's most useful appendage is its membranous tail.

It's all the rage in Celadon.

Any good suspenseful environ assaults you itself.

Panting = noise.

Not disappear. Die.

Yes. He wanted Nyoromo to walk on a bramble-y road.

Now he's truly alone.

This is how exposition should appear. Subtly.

Once a prison for small animals, it- ...No? We aren't doing that bit?

I prefer this to saying hemisphere, as it has those little clasp bits.

High technology necessitates the use of the word matrix.

Not too long ago. Oak remembers, I'm sure.

I JUST BLEW YOUR MINDS IT'S A POKEYMANBALL WHAT.

What happened to the ones in transit? Through the computers?

Cannibalized seemed the proper word for the setting.

Cliffhanger. Like always. Do they get old?

Chapter Five, Expository Lump

Wow. I am unparalleled in my ability to merge exposition seamlessly with action.

What follows is a sentence-by-sentence commentary, in which all is revealed.

What a strong hook that has next to nothing to do with the rest of the chapter. But you never noticed.

Route 1, if you're that thick. The Kanto one, not the Isshu.

Yes. When emergencies occur, everyone hikes to the north to meet in the shadow of a den of horrors and other such nasties. Because that's how Oak rolls.

Remember, in this world pokémon battles are actually battles. This means that the townsfolk enjoy watching small animals tear each other into bleeding lumps.

Not to the south, though. To the south is Pallet. Then the sea. After.

There was some reason the ocean seemed so far in the games. I provided it.

Because one is so inclined to seek out forests.

The first mention of the Upheaval will probably not be the last.

Most biologists also claim that forests live.

That and the sea.

Medicines like Potion (tm), Super Potion (tm), Hyper Potion (tm), and Max Potion (tm).

Think of what an onix egg must look like. Now make an omelet from it. A delicious, massive, gravelly omelet.

Meat and vegetable. What do you think bellsprout are?

The Fallen Viridian makes its first appearance.

Are you ready to become a pokémon master? Okay, go into the woods with one tiny companion and pray that nothing finds you or you'll die. Yay!

Because that's such a danger, what with only Oak and the Seven guarding it. Any new member of the Called could easily wipe out the town if not carefully watched.

Nothing found you and killed you yet? Good! Now go find the things that didn't get you yet and fight them.

Still alive? Go and see how Lavender fares on the other side of the continent. That should get rid of you.

No. You aren't good enough to die in an exotic locale. Die here. Soon.

This sentence seems increasingly suicidal the more I read it.

Compare it to stepping out the door of a plane with only the parachute from a tiny paratrooper toy.

Yes. The difference in light is that severe and is so for many natural reasons and not simply for dramatic effect.

I enjoy killing childhoods.