Chapter Two, Who's That Pokémon?

I love cheesy titles, don't you? The best part of BNL seems to be the opportunity to create titles for the Apocalypse without fear of diluting the atmosphere (as this title certainly would have).

I mentioned that writing action scares me because I don't want to slow the pace of the story, but on that same token I fear writing waits as I need to make the reader feel the pause. An example of a failure to write a wait well follows:

Red waited for an eternity, then Pikachu came out of the cage and zapped him.

As you should be able to see, the above sentence mentions a wait, but the wait doesn't feel like a wait. A good wait should have sentences detailing it. Possibly parallelism as well, but multiple sentences at the least. I believe I created the proper feel using both. The first action that wasn't an act of waiting occurred in the ninth sentence. I used the phrase nothing happened twice, to give a feel of redundancy and lethargy. Yes, lethargy is communicated. Lethargic people are woefully repetitive.

Here was the first sign of a reign of terror that lasted for nearly a month. Firefox's spellchecker refused to accept the word leapt and it convinced me that proper English speakers would only dare use leaped instead. I prefer leapt in this case as it has a more powerful reactionary feel. If you think leaped works better you are not only wrong, but possibly suffering from a contrecoup. Please see a doctor immediately.

The sentence about a tentacle-beast seems a bit of a run-on. No, it can't be. Commas fix everything, right,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,?

I'm never typing that again. I feel dirty after such punctuation abuse.

I thought the abrupt change from tentacled horror from Rl'yeh to wet sponge created a delightful contrast, forcing the reader to change their newly formed notions completely.

Hopped was the wrong word for the way Nyoromo moved. It should be tumbled. Poliwag don't do well on land.

Note how I said some caterpie. The larvae grow. Quickly. Blood is very nutritious. Whatever it lacks, flesh makes up for. Yay science!

A poliwag's spiral is its intestinal tract. It's official. Nyoromo isn't starving. Much.

I quake at the thought of using hyphens in writing. I always think I'm doing it wrong.

Glorious Guardian is alliterative and thus good writing.

The ending makes me smile. Every time.



Does any of this sound narcissistic? I hope not. I'm only being honest.