Chapter Three, Enter the Dragon

Yes, charmander are dragons. Wingless, short dragons, but dragons all the same.

What follows is a sentence-by sentence commentary on the third chapter of the Apocalypse.

The first sentence was carefully calculated to fulfill a number of tasks. It's short, which imitates the simplistic thought of a mind reeling from shock and disappointment. It also-

Do you have the chapter open? It should be. Go to it now. This will make much more sense with context.

It also serves to give me a platform on which to build the rest of the chapter. Without a platform, the story would rest on the ground, and it's very particular about what it will and will not touch. Dirt is of the latter category, platforms of the former. Perhaps the most important function of the sentence is to review the previous chapter. Quickly. Without the reader realizing it.

It does fit, doesn't it? The translators really did a spectacular job. Mostly.

I have one: superfluseless. Or monowag. Or poliwoe.

Adverb placement is entirely up to the author, and I choose, on occasion, to use them after verbs. It sounds better.

Red deserves applause. It's extraordinarily difficult to prod something so small. Squishing is often the result, and if that happened I'd be out of a job.

Yes, massive eyes are cute, but think about it from Red's perspective. Not only is his pokémon small, but what area it does have is wasted by eyes. What good are those?

I refuse to check, but I think the trend of monosyllabic Nyoromo responses starts here has continued without a full "Poliwag" since. Also, ew. The placement of that sentence is ugly. I should have started a new paragraph.

Squirming sounds like it should be onomatopoeia. It isn't.

Again, Red performs an amazing feat. He should get an award for Extraordinary Dexterity of the Foot or perhaps for Extreme Perseverance in the Face of Squishing Temptation.

Poliwag do badly on land, regardless of what the anime may try to make you believe.

This also serves to nearly blind the creature. It's eyes would face mostly downwards.

The flag would, of course, be for an insect nation, or for other creatures equally as small. Not a Bug nation though, as those things grow far too quickly.

Get it? It slithers towards the water, and Nyoromo means "Slither-child" in Japanese! Am I the only one who thinks it's funny?

If the Apocalypse had a soundtrack, this is where the rival music would play. But you heard it in your head anyway, no?

It took me a while to figure out if Green's eyes had a color in the canon.

No, this is not a magical life-saving pendant given to him by his grandfather that will save him from a [spoilers redacted]

Haughtiness adds height. I am twelve feet tall.

Slowpoke tails are not exclusive to Johto. They are found wherever slowpoke roam.

WHOAARETHEYRIVALSWHATISGOINGONTHEYSHOULDBEFRIENDS!

Yes, Green. Not Blue. Green is an accurate translation.

I enjoy distorting handsome features. It robs the world of beauty.

What, no salutation?

An arbok? Don't be silly. Everyone knows arbok can only be found on Route 23 and cerulean cave.

And how does that make you feel?

Oh.

That, dear readers, is how small Nyoromo is. He took twelve sentences to be noticed.

"Um... no." lied Red. "I'm just holding it for a friend."

Diglett is, canonically, the smallest pokémon in the Kanto region.

Neither did Red.

I realize that it goes against convention for a pokémon to be named so long after it has been 'caught,' but I wanted Red to be so self-pitying that it wouldn't occur to him until Green asked him.

Again, I make reference to the Japanese name. Red is, apparently, bilingual.

Stalling looks ugly, but it had to be done.

He'll probably do this a lot.

Hitokage means salamander in Japanese. A literal translation would be fire lizard.

Oh, that's the other person. Pokémon, I mean.

Is there anyone who didn't know what the pokémon was at this point? There's really only one bipedal lizard.

I thought it would be hilarious to call a fire-type burnt orange. I wasn't mistaken.

Charmander start by knowing scratch. Thus they have claws. Thus, my charmander have really sharp claws.

The ground dulls the claws of those that walk upon it. However, feet tend to be larger, so their claws are as well. His claws are red because Green wouldn't bother letting a stray pidgey live if he could kill it instead.

Here is where the unintelligence of pokémon begins to be made known.

Yes, I used multiple references to find how long its tail would be. I'm thorough.

Deep red. Hm. It's been so long, I can't recall if I intentionally made the flame cold.

Interest? More like envy. Which is a deadly sin.

No. No he doesn't. He wants him. Since he can't have him, he begrudges Green for it.

Unless I'm mistaken, he uses this name for Oak in the games.

Oak is allowed to play favorites. No one would dare argue with him. Except for- SPOILER REDACTED.

This overconfidence would be your downfall if it wasn't deserved, Green!

Do attacks have names in the world of the Apocalypse? I don't know. However, scratch could be an order regardless of the answer to that question.

This was included for the extraordinarily dense. The bipedal lizard with vicious claws and a flaming tail is a charmander. How unexpected.

Isn't it convenient how he didn't quite make it to the water?

Poor Nyo. Attacked without warning when helpless.

Oh, Hydrogen Bonds. You've foiled us again!

Stunned? Fainted? Dead? Bleeding.

The narrowing of the universe that accompanies horrible shock. I enjoyed writing this.

Green had to say that sometime.

Apparently insects exist here too. Not just bugs.

Spearow are the closest thing to ravens Kanto has.

This took far longer and was far less entertaining to write than I had hoped. I quite look forward to reading it in a few weeks.